Do as You Purpose

About Depression

Mar 07

So why is it noteworthy that I brushed my teeth or shaved my legs? I suffer from chronic depression, and for some of us doing those routine things is a BFD.

I’ve heard depression described in a couple of interesting ways:

• Nothing matters, and what if it did?
• Depression is when you feel nothing; Grief is when you feel everything.

For me it’s all about dental floss. When some little thing like a broken shoe lace, or in my case a cracked vacuum cleaner wand, goes wrong, it’s like someone threw a yarn-sized ball of dental floss over my head. It lands on my shoulder and I keep going. Then I miss my meds for a day. Another toss of the dental floss. Then I blow off a church committee meeting and feel guilty. More dental floss.  After awhile, I can become so tightly bound in dental floss that I can’t move, everything I try to do takes too much effort, and the only emotions I can feel are anger, annoyance and fear.

When I live life intentionally–and yes that includes brushing my teeth, shaving my legs, cooking good food, going to the gym and all those things that “normal” people do routinely–it’s like pulling out a nail clipper and snipping one of those strands of dental floss. With every intentional promise I keep, I become freer.

Tags: chronic depression
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